379: Ayahuasca

Theresa Vigarino And Ashley James


  • Theresa’s journey into the Amazon jungle.
  • The Vomativo.
  • The spiritual and energetic connection to everything.
  • How to keep your energy clean.
  • Theresa’s masterclass series.

Let’s listen in to this episode where Theresa Vigarino takes us to her Amazon jungle journey where she experienced healing, and gained her knowingness. Get to know Ayahuasca and how it promotes soul enlightenment and physical healing.

0:03 Intro: Welcome to the Learn True Health Podcast. I'm your host, Ashley James. This is Episode 379.

0:13 Ashley James: I am so excited for today's guest. We have back on the show Theresa Vigarino. Theresa was in episode 88 almost two years ago. And Theresa and I have stayed connected and stayed friends since then. I loved our interview back in Episode 88. And Theresa has so much to share with us. I am really excited to hear the story. She started trying to tell me over Skype the other day and I was like, “No, no, no, I want the listeners to hear it too.” I really want to hear what's happened. And she started just giving little tidbits of the last two years and I got so excited that I have to record this. So let's just save it for the interview. So this is going to be new information for me too. Theresa, your life last two years has been quite amazing. Welcome back.

1:06 Theresa Vigarino: Oh, yeah. It has. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you, Ashley. I love being here. And I love the people that I've met that reached out to me two years ago through the podcast interview we did back then and you know, I have nothing but love for you and being brave. And I'm just so honored to be here because I know you have such a beautiful tribe of listeners and people that are really ready to awaken to who they really are.

1:36 Ashley James: Exactly.

1:36 Theresa Vigarino: So I'm happy to be part of that process even just a little bit.

1:40 Ashley James: Oh, wonderful. Awaken to who you really are. And isn't that what it's all about? Now you have a free giveaway for the listeners. You're so funny, you're like podcasters expect us to give things away. And I'm just like, isn't your presence enough? We're going to give something cool to the listeners. Okay, so you have a gift for the listeners. It's free, three people. And you created it a while ago, but it's still very relevant. And it's a free audio course on manifesting in your life. And so the link to that is going to be in the show of today's podcast at www.learntruehealth.com and then listeners can go to that and they sign up for your free audio course where you teach techniques for designing your life in a way that manifests the miraculous.

2:33 Theresa Vigarino: Absolutely. And I just love teaching this because so often in life we walk around feeling victim to our circumstances, when in actuality we manifest all the time. And so understanding this and that literally when you look around your life experience you are the creator of what you're seeing around you. And that's the beginning actually. And what I've learned in the past two years is there's so much more and there's always more to learn and grow and experience and expand and I've been going to school, I've gone to spiritual school, if you will, the last couple of years, man. Wow is all I can say.

3:12 Ashley James: The spiritual school of hard knocks, right?

3:15 Theresa Vigarino: A little bit, some intense growth because it was life or death for me quite frankly. And I was brought to my knees. If only I could have bent my knees, I would have been on my knees. But at the time I was turning into a stiff lady with scleroderma. And it was really a divine unfoldment although it was extremely uncomfortable. And I was extremely ill. It took me to my knees so that I could grow.

3:44 Ashley James: Yeah.

3:46 Theresa Vigarino: And I could really learn what healing was all about.

3:49  Ashley James: It's in the hardest times that we can gain the most growth.

3:54 Theresa Vigarino: Yes, and I'm still learning and it's a forever deal for all of us. But what I went through in the past two years since we last spoke was basically the heroine's journey of my life. A solo journey into the depths of my being, into the depths of what I was creating, into the depths of disease, into the depths of emotional healing, into the depths of energy and vibration, and ancient plant medicine and Shamanism.

4:22 Ashley James: In the depths of the jungle. I can't wait to get to that part of the story.

4:25 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Into the depth, depth, depths of the jungle.

4:28 Ashley James: So take us back. So after our interview you told me that you ended up falling sick, is that with scleroderma? And you ended up in the hospital? Can you tell us about that?

4:40 Theresa Vigarino: Yes. Well, 2017. In 2016, at the end of the year, I was very, very sick. And that's whenever I had an evening. And there were so many things that were happening, including an adrenal crisis that literally could have taken me out. Like at any point, I remember lying bed, we had just gone through the holidays. So it was January 2017. And I had just moved, I was in an area that I didn't know anyone except my husband and he was actually out of town. I had no family around me. And I was very, very, very ill and I was lying in bed ready to call him to come home from a meeting or 911. And at the time my kidneys were shutting down. The scleroderma was so wrapped around the linings of my lungs that I was having bad EKGs. I was feeling like I couldn't breathe. I was struggling to move my body. I was crawling to the bathroom, I'm only not being able to urinate that evening. And I mean, I just wanted to go. I was so sick, I crawled back in bed, and I will never forget this as long as I live. And I said, “God, I'm ready.” And all of a sudden, deep in this meditative space, so I was struggling both dimensions I saw the face of Yeshua, the Christ say to me, “Really? Are you sure about that?” And then immediately, like a snapshot picture of my husband's face, a snapshot picture of my daughter's face, then my son's face, and then a room full of people. It was like a giant auditorium and all these people looking at me that I did not recognize. And I said, “No, of course I'm not ready. I'll stay. I know I'm not done yet.” And so he began to show me along with some archangels that were in my room that night how to self-heal.

So at the time we knew I had a mass in my lung. We knew I was in adrenal crisis, we knew my kidneys were inflamed, we knew that I was really in bad shape. I wasn't getting enough oxygen to my heart through the scleroderma process. And he was showing me how to self heal. And so immediately the next day, I started feeling a little bit better. What happened after that, now It took me, I wasn't fully healed after that, and I ended up spiraling down in a different way later in the year. But what happened was, he told me to start praying for my clients. Now at the time, I was always the spiritual warrior, right? But I wasn't always praying for people outside of my family, friends and people I was very close to. And so I started actually praying for people and they started having miraculous results; a healing of Crohn's disease, a pain in the knee, you know, migraines, financial woes, relationship problems, it didn't matter what the subject matter was. And I would hear him say, pray. And the prayers were always channeled. I could not not remember any of them afterwards. And so I then began to discover this part of me that I had been told that I was resistant into allowing to unfold in my life, because of the ego and fear of what people would think and what if it didn't work, and all of this right? That I projected, that was amazing, miraculous, miraculous experience for me. And it was just so humbling. And after that, later in the year, I again began to plummet in my health. And so I got an invitation to go to the jungle of the Amazon to partake in the plant medicine from a friend.

8:22 Ashley James: Okay, first, can you just take us back to that invitation? So was it kind of like out of the blue?

8:30 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah. So yes, it was, and yet it wasn't. So I have a mentor who was helping me understand maybe in a clear conscious conduit, you know, medium of sorts, spiritual teacher and accessing and amplifying these gifts and understanding it more. And she said to me, “Theresa, you really need to investigate plant medicine.” So I began a search in my area in the Bay Area, south of San Francisco, and I was looking into Shamanism and plant medicine, but I didn't know anything about it quite frankly. I had heard of it a little bit, but really had not researched it prior to that, and didn't know, didn't understand it at all. So out of the blue. But you know, the universe works this way. Right? I get this blessing dropped in my lap. In November, the week before Thanksgiving, I get a call from a friend of mine who I knew from a business group, not a spiritual group, he wasn't a client or anything just from a business coach that I was involved with for a while. And I met him at an event and we became friends and out of the blue, hadn't spoken to him in a year. He calls me up and he says, “Theresa, I am running a retreat to the depths of the jungle in Peru to the Amazon. And I have an opening that just came available. We leave in two days and for some reason I just know you're supposed to be there.” Now this guy had no idea of my physical struggles. I just wasn't talking about it with everybody all the time, working on rewriting my story. And I was just about fell out of my chair. He said, “Just buy your ticket. Meet me in Iquitos. This is when you need to meet me.” And it was in two days.

10:15 Ashley James: In Peru. Iquitos, Peru.

10:17 Theresa Vigarino: In Peru. Yeah.

10:18 Ashley James: So fly from San Francisco to Peru in two days and you've been like on your deathbed twice in the last year.

10:26 Theresa Vigarino: Yes. And actually just days before that, had been back to the hospital for heart pain, chronic heart pain that wasn't going away and I did have a bad EKG and they didn't really know what was causing it and so I was really not feeling well and I actually was on lockdown with my connective tissues, so I wasn't able to move my joints very easily. And so I was really struggling, Ashley, and I was in a lot of pain and I didn't understand what was happening actually.

10:57 Ashley James: So scleroderma which you've had over a long time…

11:02 Theresa Vigarino: Since I was four, yeah.

11:03 Ashley James: Is that an autoimmune condition of the connective tissue?

11:06 Theresa Vigarino: It is and so the way they describe it is autoimmune vascular because it's also in the blood vessels, arthritic, because a soft tissue arthritis, inflammatory because it inflames organs.

11:24 Ashley James: So, everything but bones?

11:26 Theresa Vigarino: Everything but bones and lipid.

11:28 Ashley James: Wow. Okay, so yeah, so you're in rough shape, but you gotta get to Peru two days to go into the jungle.

11:34 Theresa Vigarino: Yes. And I got off the phone with him. And I said to Victor, my husband, I was like, “Babe, you aren't gonna believe this.” But now we don't say this to each other. “You're not gonna believe this.” Because we believe just about anything after everything we've gone through. We are not surprised by surprises. You know, and he didn't know this person at the time. And I said, “Jimmy invited me to go, he's the guy from this event. And we became friends, invited me to go with him to do plant medicine.” And he was like, “Well, you gotta go. You gotta go.”

12:06 Ashley James: I love your husband. I've never met him, but I love him. Just the fact he was supportive. How many spouses would be like, “No, you're too sick. What do you mean? You're not going to the jungle, with a complete strange man I've never met.” Like, oh my gosh. And he's like, “Go, you have to. It's your journey.” I just love him.

12:24 Theresa Vigarino: He is so amazing. And he's also been to the jungle three times, and we'll go into that.

12:28 Ashley James: Not before this point and after this point. So he had never been to the jungle. He didn't know Jimmy. He knows that you're struggling physically. But he said go. So okay, so there you go. So two days later, you've managed to figure out your life and get to Peru, then what happened.

12:46  Theresa Vigarino: So we meet at the airport and we begin our journey into the jungle. So Iquitos is you fly to Lima, we met in Lima. And then we take the two and a half hour flight, there's the only way to Iquitos is by boat or airplane. You're really locked in the jungle there and it's on the river. And so it's really the gateway to Shamanism, because even if you decide to go into Colombia, Brazil, Ecuador, it's up in that corridor where those countries all kind of meet, and it is the gateway to traditional plant medicine. So yeah, I land in Lima, we meet with our group, I think we were a group of like 11 of us and we take the smaller plane over the mountains and into the jungle. And then we take about a two hour bus ride, and an hour boat ride to this oasis of beauty because this woman that owns this lodge for plant medicine, and so she also has people that just want to come and experience the jungle. But mostly it's a healing retreat center. And it is absolutely, well, it's my second home now, one of the most beautiful places you can imagine. And you know, even though it's beautifully appointed, you're still in the jungle, so there's a lot of jungle that goes with it that you have to acclimate to, and that a lot of people are fearful of and you face those fears, because you're there.

14:11 Ashley James: Right. Like spiders.

14:15 Theresa Vigarino: Like spiders. Like everything and, and you know, my husband and I adventurous as we are, we really got into that show Naked and Afraid. And the ones that always tapped out were the ones that were in the Amazon. So I did have a little bit of fear. I'll be honest, you know, it was a little scary for me of the critters. And now I know they're just my friends coming to say hi.

14:40 Ashley James: Oh my gosh.

14:41 Theresa Vigarino: I love more than others like the butterflies and dragonflies and the birds, you know, and the lady bugs but you know, there's some that I'm like, “Okay, hi.” From afar, right?

14:51 Ashley James: Yes.

14:52 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah. So it was quite a personal growing experience into the realm of other life forms, because there are more different types of life forms in the Amazon jungle than anywhere on Earth.

15:06 Ashley James: Oh, I bet and it's such a shame that they've been burning parts of it down. And I mean, it just breaks my heart. But this idea of getting out of your comfort zone, just, I mean, step one, right? You took a leap of faith. Step two, you're out of your comfort zone, because you're surrounded by animals and insects. And you know, it's a foreign language, a foreign geography, foreign weather. I mean, every everything is foreign.

15:37 Theresa Vigarino: And foreign medicine.

15:38 Ashley James: Sure. So everything's different. You're really thrown out of your comfort zone, which I think is also can be very cathartic to break out of old patterns. So tell us about your first experience there. How long did you stay? Walk us through it.

15:55 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah, so I was there for 10 days. And in those 10 days we were led through some group workshops with my friend and he was explaining what we were embarking upon, because most of us that were there had never experienced plant medicine and in particular, Ayahuasca. So I knew nothing about Ayahuasca, other than it was some some kind of medicine that the shamans drink with you. And then they sing the songs. That's all I knew. And I did not have time to investigate or research and thank God I didn't because I literally was going in blind. And you know, at this point, ignorance was bliss for me. And so I just did what I was told to do. And we began our journey. I think we got to the lodge in the evening. And so the plant medicine started the next morning with a prerogative.

So we got up early in the morning, we rallied in the grass around each other, we had to drink this green, this one glass of this green drink that tasted like lemongrass, actually. And then we had to drink like a gallon of water, just glasses, glasses and glasses of water, which caused a purging. So in traditional plant medicine, you do go through a purging process of the body, which we purge in only so many ways, you know, vomiting, sneezing, blowing your nose, you know, evacuation through urination, defecation, sweating, some people sneeze, cough, laugh, you know, there's lots of ways emotionally that we purge. But you do begin with the physical body. And what I've learned is, the medicine works better when you're cleaner physically. So since we live in a toxic environment, you do go through some of that. So we did do this. It's called Vomativo.

We drank the prerogative, we did the Vomitivo. And actually, you feel clean afterwards. Then that evening, we began our journey into the visionary for some, but the deeper work of Ayahuasca, which they call the grandmother of all medicine, like all medicine. And that is a journey, that is the heroine and the hero's journey. And, you know, so I went through that experience six times in those 10 days, and also another plant medicine called San Pedro. And so we can talk if you'd like to about what the ceremony is like, and what you go through.

18:16 Ashley James: Yeah, please. Yeah, I saw a documentary think it's still in Netflix about Ayahuasca and how they're using Or people go into the jungle and do this, who've come back for more time who have post traumatic stress. And they, oh my gosh, so many of them end up healing and resolving an it's like completing. They're complete with the post traumatic stress, and they go back, you know, I mean, sometimes they visit the jungle a few more times, but they can reenter society, and they don't have those wounds, those scars, those triggers from the war time. So there's a lot of benefits that they're seeing.

19:00 Theresa Vigarino: Absolutely.

19:00 Ashley James: And obviously, it's a medicine that has been practiced for a very long time. This isn't like, you know, some trippy street drug. I mean, this is very responsible and the shamans are leading it.

19:11 Theresa Vigarino: And it's very respected in South America. You know, I just read an article last year about how in Brazil, they're using this plant medicine to rehabilitate hardened criminals, the worst of the worst. So there is so much about this medicine that science is now researching. There's so many researchers were there, you know, people are drinking the medicine and they're scanning brains while on the medicine and seeing how it activates parts of the brain. It is really helping people with chronic depression and mental illness. For me, I was the only person that was really there for physical illness, that first time. And so what happened to me was really intense. And they said it would be after a few rounds of it, that for someone who was as sick as I was in the physical realm, that I was going to go through a lot. And so they have in the ceremony, the ceremonies are always in the evening, at night in the dark and you're in a special ceremony room that's blessed and the shamans are there.

And they make this brew and the tea they call it, is a mix of traditionally, and it's important I want to reiterate, you want to know who your shamans are. And you want to know how they're making the medicine. There are shamans in America that are distributing this medicine and there are a lot of reputable people. I personally have had several shamans now because I've been down there several times and I have found my shamans and I will only work with them. Because this medicine also works on the energy of the individual, their personal energy matters as well. Their lives matter as well because they're part of your healing process. And so the first two times that I went down there, so I've been four times. The first two times I went was different shamans, this last two times and most recently, I spent the month of June, this year, so just two months ago with a mother and a son. They work together and mother son shaman and I won't go to anybody else. They are who I will work with.

They are who helped transform me, the others – the medicine worked great, but they just didn't have the healing gifts that these other shamans have. So that's why I found my shamans, right? So anyways, so back to the original time that I went there. So we get ready, we stop eating at 2pm. And we go into ceremony in about 7pm. And in the jungle, it literally gets dark by seven. I don't care what time of the year, I've been there all times of year now it's dark by seven. So we're dressed in white typically. And we head off into what's called a Maloca. And it is a sacred ceremony space. It's a round room and you see them all over the jungle with a pitch thatch roof. And you know it's nicely appointed. There's restrooms outside, bathroom number one they call is mama bears bathroom. That's me. Because I'm the one that spent some time in the restroom. It's laughable. They're like, “Oh, she's in there again. Put her baby wipes in there.” So yes, I spent a lot of time purging that way and it was unbelievable what came out of my body. Old infections and I won't go into more detail about that.

22:35 Ashley James: Oh, my gosh. I'm so curious. Did you see parasites?

22:40 Theresa Vigarino: Oh my gosh, okay.

22:43 Ashley James: Okay listeners who've been listeners for a while are laughing probably because I'm so obsessed. I want to know, I want to know the details. Give me the details. Parasites, did you see the parasites?

22:57 Theresa Vigarino: This is how I saw the parasites. So the first two nights, what would happen is my belly would just blow up like a balloon. So I'll go back into the detail of how the ceremony plays out. So we're sitting on these mats, everybody has a bowl and some toilet paper or napkins, you know, because some people do purge through vomiting. And I have, but not as much as the other way. What we've discovered is I'm extremely sensitive to the medicine. So I need the least amount. The original shamans were giving me full doses. And it was too much, quite frankly, for me. And I was oh boy, the first two nights. I didn't have, I saw some visions. So I'm very visionary person. And some people experience the visionary journey and some don't. Now, Westerners like to call this a psychedelic hallucinatory experience, however, and they call it a drug. It's a misconception.

This is a very powerful strong medicine. And the reason why they call it the grandmother of all medicines is because it works on every part of your being; your mind body, your emotional body, your energetic body, your physical body, your spirit body. It's like having the best doctor, Psychotherapist, spiritual teacher, all in the same room in one night. It's like 20 years of therapy, a 20 years of toxins coming out of your body, 20 years of stuck emotion coming out of your body in one night.

24:29 Ashley James: Oh my gosh. That's so cool.

24:31 Theresa Vigarino: That's so powerful.

24:31 Ashley James: Yeah, when I watched the documentary, I believe someone said one of the people is going through it, said it was really, it was like you face the mirror. It's like your soul faces the mirror of yourself and I can really see why criminals would find healing through it because they actually have to then face the actions and then feel what they did to others and face that. And so people were in denial. I mean, you can't be in denial, you face all your stuff. Is that accurate?

25:10 Theresa Vigarino: It's so accurate. And I want to say, and it is in the kindest way possible. Because I saw the mistakes that I had made over my life. And the part I played even if the other party, whatever circumstance it was, just, you know, in my views and terrible things to me, or what have you, right? I also played a part in some of that. I also realized my portion of it and I grieve that part of myself. It's also a great shame release, because the most negative vibration, it's totally a vibratory medicine. The darkest emotional vibration, and we know that we're all energetic beings, and that we resonate to a vibration. The one that stays the deepest stuck inside of ourselves is shame.

26:02 Ashley James: Yeah.

26:04 Theresa Vigarino: And so this helps bring the shame up, and you see it and you release it. So you not just have forgiveness for others, but for yourself, for the things that you've done. Because none of us are perfect, you know, those without and I don't like to word, the word sin means miss the mark, you know, cast the first stone. In other words, we shouldn't be judging each other because we're not perfect. We're all a work in progress. Yet, we are perfect because we have the spirit of the great creator living within us. And we're here to emerge as that. But in the process, we have the human aspect of our life experience. And, you know, we've all done things that we're not proud of, or said things or engaged in things that we wish we wouldn't have in hindsight, right? So this helps you access those places of stuck guilt, shame, remorse, resentment, anger, guilt, all of those negative emotions, and it bubbles up to the surface and you're able to get it out of your body.

27:01 Ashley James: So take us back to the first night. Take us back to the ceremony and tell us what happened.

27:06 Theresa Vigarino: First of all, it I thought it was freaky as all get out because I'm like, “What are we doing in the dark?” Because I really didn't know what was going on.

27:12 Ashley James: They guy didn't explain to you everything?

27:15 Theresa Vigarino: A little bit. But it's still like, it's still an experience to have to actually go do it, right? We walk in we're like, I'm next to my roomie, this beautiful and she's like one of the dearest souls in my life now. We became best friends, because neither one of us had experienced the jungle before and she was even more scared than me of jungle critters. And so we picked mats next to each other and talking to each other. “Hey, are you okay?” You know, it's nice to have a little buddy your first night. So yes, we didn't understand it. But there's still something different about doing it. Right? We did have an explanation of what we'd experienced. But so and what happens is the shamans, there's a light at the beginning and they're pouring the brew and a cup and come up, set your intention.

You sit before the shamans, you drink the brew, you go back to your mat, and we're in silence at that point. They go around the room, everybody drinks it, and then they drink it and there was two shamans there, and two females and they drink the medicine and then the lights go out and they smoke a sacred tobacco called Mapacho, which Mapacho is for clearing energy. And if you notice most ancient tribes from Africa to Australia to North America, the indigenous tribal ceremonies always have smoke involved either through a fire, or they're smoking some sacred tobacco. And because it's a master plant, and it is a medicine, and it clears spiritual energy. Okay, because part of the ceremony is you're opening up energetically.

So it's about your safety. So that's why you want to know that you're with a powerful shaman. And that we could go into the details of that later. So they begin smoking. And then you start after a while feeling the effects of the medicine and it can be different for everyone. The medicine is brewed between a vine and a leaf. The vine is called Ayahuasca and the leaf is called Chacruna. Now, there are lesser evolved, lesser enlightened people that serve medicine. And a lot of Westerners want the visionary experience and so they go for that and these shamans they just pick randomly who to work with at the airport sometimes, come to find out. And they will add a third ingredient for the hallucinatory experience and so that they have this trip, if you will. That's not what I'm interested in. I'm interested in healing. And many people come away with it with a different experience than what is truly the medicine and traditional witches those two ingredients only

29:52 Ashley James: Giving Ayahuasca a poor rep.

29:54 Theresa Vigarino: Yes, yes. So you know a reputable shaman, a reputable Lodge and you know, truly, truly if any of your listeners want to know the place that I went with the shamans, I am best friends with the lady that owns the lodge now and they are the most healing, loving, authentic, integris group of people I've ever worked with. They cared for me during my darkest nights of my soul.

30:18 Ashley James: So listeners can reach you www.theresavigarino.com and get that information about the lodge and all that. So on your first night you're lying on your mat. Now you must be hearing the sounds of the jungle outside.

30:33 Theresa Vigarino: Oh, the symphony of the jungle is unlike any other sounds you've ever heard.

30:39 Ashley James: It's very loud.

30:40 Theresa Vigarino: It's very loud, it's very loud and it's very dark. Because of where we are situated there's no electricity, they run off generators in the evenings. And by 10pm, the generators are off. And they have to boat everything into this place, right? So the generators are in the evening. So you can charge your phone, but you have very limited access to the phone, there's no internet, no TV, you're away from work, you're away from everything. So because of the lack of distraction, you really get to face these parts of you that really need to be faced so that you can have freedom and liberation. And so the first couple of nights, I would see the sacred geometry, you know, in black and white and so I would see some things that affected my experience, my visionary experience. But what happened to me was my belly just blew up to where I was like eight or nine months pregnant. And I was in the pooper, I call it and I was in the bathroom just evacuating like I had never in my life.

31:39 Ashley James: How do you get through if it's dark?

 31:42 Theresa Vigarino: Oh, they have facilitators there.

31:43 Ashley James: Do you have flashlights?

31:45 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah, and you bring your own flashlight. So you have a list of things to bring for your experience; headlamp, little flashlight, and they have facilitators. So, this one his name was Alex. I call him my jungle son. I'd be like, “Alex.” And he would come and get me and escort me outside into the facilities and wait for me until I wash my hands and come back and guide me back to my mat. Because you are under the effects of the medicine. So you do feel woozyness, you definitely feel different, right? But you have full consciousness and full awareness while the medicine is working.

So for me the first two days, because I went at the last minute, I did not have any. Most people that go, they have a couple weeks where they are cleaning up their diet. And even though I eat really clean, no oil, no butter, no caffeine, spices, salt, no pork, no red meat. There's a specific diet that you eat to cleanse yourself so that you don't have to go through as much detoxing while you're there. So taken into account that I had just been in no medicines, right? I had been in the hospital, I had had steroids in my system till right before I came. I had IV anti inflammatories, I had a lot of things in my system that I was not cleared out of, so the medicine worked as a detox on me immediately. And boy did I feel it. By the third ceremony, my visionary experience just kicked my butt. I did not know what was happening to me. And it was extremely scary for me because I had never had that kind of experience. I am not a user of psychedelics. And I had never experienced something like this before. The colors and the patterns and the things, I mean, I just didn't even know what was going on. So I got really afraid because we know what the brain, Ashley, if you're having a new experience and you don't have a frame of reference for it, it really triggers fear.

And what I learned from that scary night, scariest night of my life, and I had to be in the bathroom of course and it hit me within five minutes. Usually it takes 30 minutes, sometimes an hour, sometimes people don't. The medicines working but they don't have that experience at all. Because I'm so open and because I'm such a visionary and I'm so spiritual and energetically connected, it was like bam! Five minutes in, okay, and I'm like, “Oh my God, what's going on? I end up literally on the jungle ground, fear of critters, didn't care, had my friend. My friend with me, the owner of the lodge, five facilitators, another shaman came out and I thought literally, I thought I was going to die. Now I did have a death that night. The fear of death and I didn't realize as spiritual being as I was and knowing where I'm going afterwards, there is still the egoic attachment of the greatest fear that we walk around with that even in your mind you think you don't have, it's still stuck in the body. We learned at five years old, you know what I'm saying?

34:57 Ashley James: Yeah.

34:58 Theresa Vigarino: Even though intellectually we go, “Oh we're energy, we're just going to transform. We're faithful beings. Many of us know we're going to enter into full consciousness.” If you're a Christian then you know you're going to meet the face of Jesus and etc etc etc. This night I was begging them to lie flight me out of there and then they started saying to me, I just said this is really funny now that I look back on it. But at the moment I didn't know what was happening and the reason why I ended up in the grass was because you know there's a little distance between the Maloca the ceremony room, and restrooms and on my way back into the Maloca I'm like, “Lay me down right here.” And I ended up off the little pathway and into the grass and you know, my friend is like, “Get her mat.” You know, I said I can't go back in there because I need to be close to the bathroom because it was really pretty profuse a time, and my jungle son, they said, get her some sugar water so there is a way that when it's intense for you to bring down the effects and he ran back to the main lodge and brought me sugar water. I'm drinking sugar water then he ran back again to bring me limes with salt and so basically the electrolytes brings you back and then they went and got me bananas. I said I just need a banana. I just need a banana and this poor kid because it's a long way back to the lodge and it became a big joke.

Meanwhile, everybody in the Maloca is yelling out at me, “Mama Bear we love you.” I was the mom of all that trip and those people, as the oldest one there I think but those people ended up becoming like all my children and great dear loves of my life and I was getting the support of everyone and it did ease. And after that experience, I heard, I was able to communicate with the spirits so profoundly that the spirit said to me when I was in the toilet the next night I was like, what is going on? And the spirit said this is cancer leaving your body because medical intuitive said I had a lot of cancer in my body. This is cancer leaving your body, this is virus leaving your body, this is bacteria and toxins leaving your body, and these are the curses that were spoken over you leaving your body from past relationships and experiences. And so that said, sit with this because I was like opening up the door because it was the vileness that left my body that I couldn't handle. It was making me feel sicker and the spirit said, no you close the door because I was like sticking my head out the door. This is really graphic.

37:38 Ashley James: It was like a porta potty or something? You just like open the door and stick your head out.

37:45 Theresa Vigarino: Oh no, but they're smaller. You know, I was able to, but no they're full working flushing toilets, running water back and everything. Yeah, beautifully appointed and you know still people are saying we love you and they can hear me and I can hear them and at this point and you know you do hear people purging, you do hear people crying some people are crying because they're there for an emotional release. Which I got later in my month long journey that I just went on but those but my initial visit to the jungle, because you know my health was so dire and that first trip wasn't enough. I ended up having to come back, but because my health was in such bad shape. So you know, I will say this even after just three ceremonies, my joints were able to loosen up and I literally was like stiff man walking around, not able to bend my knees or ankles or move my hips in either direction. And I was able to move in all directions without pain and suffering and that never came back.

38:49 Ashley James: Well. Okay, like you just told me you teach yoga at IBM every week. In San Francisco and then you had to miss yesterday because you we're flying across the country. And so, here I am sitting here thinking like she's a yoga teacher now. Like, she has to go back, when I first met you, you had scleroderma. You were stiff man couldn't bend your knees.

39:14 Theresa Vigarino: Yes.

39:15 Ashley James: And now you're teaching yoga to IBM employees.

39:20 Theresa Vigarino: It was my knees. My knees were so bad. And you know when I say I was brought to my knees? I was brought to my knees. Literally.

39:32 Ashley James: So do you still have scleroderma, are you completely in remission? Or is that completely gone from your body?

39:39 Theresa Vigarino: Well, the month that I spent, so this is what happened. So I wasn't working with the best shaman and at the beginning, we didn't know what we didn't know. I ended up coming back that following March with my husband and with my friend and another group of people and was working with the same shaman. And so went through more, more deep healing, more deep healing, and the iron he is that I caught hepatitis A in my travels earlier that year. And so that's why we went back in March and I had caught hepatitis A and I had been in the hospital and almost died in January of 2018. So I also discovered that I had parasitic infections from travels to Asia years before that had infiltrated my liver, my kidneys, my ducts, everywhere in my body and I couldn't get rid of it. And that seemed to progress no matter how many cleanses I did and yes I saw many parasites and some of it was a spiritual thing.

And when you learn about that, when you learn that there's a spiritual and energetic connection to everything I had I won't go into detail, but I had of who or where it came from, but I had a dark energetic you know, a curse I don't know what else to call it, that was attached to me – entity, being. I'm not sure if it was an energy or being, it doesn't matter. But the shaman that I ended up working with, they cleared that from my energetic body. And that was the whole the opening of my work field. And because I had been so weakened from disease my whole life, I didn't have that force field. And I didn't know because if you're not aware of it, you can't really pray against it or whatever. Because I'm a strong spiritual person. How did this happen? And it was another strong spiritual person. That it was actually one of the original shamans that had some dark energy and it had because I was in a weakened state attached to me and that is a whole another story, right?

41:44 Ashley James: A whole another story. You know, Eric Throton talks about that, the guy I told you about that I've interviewed before. He talks about that kind of stuff. And my first session with him, he helped me remove some stuff that was like that. That was with me since I was nine. That had me hearing voices. And I thought it was my voice until I realized that those voices were totally out of alignment. Like these voices wanted me to eat McDonald's. I'm like, I haven't eat McDonald's in nine years. What are you talking about? And so that's when I got the cravings I kept having or not, were not physical cravings. They were like a voice in my head saying, “Let's eat this, let's eat that, or whatever.” Or it would make these the negative entity or whatever you could call it would make me question. Like when someone says something nice would be like, she didn't really mean that, she doesn't like you or whatever, it's like having a mean girl in my head basically.

42:46 Theresa Vigarino: And really causing you to feel negative. And what that does is that attracts more negativity. So this is what I've learned energetically and vibrationally. This is where we live, we know that there are energies, entities, beings that are amongst us, and some are light, and some are the opposite of light. And so you know, I learned so much on this solitary journey. So I have so much to tell you on this call all day. So what I learned in June, and I've known a lot about this, but what I've learned is that we're all here to clean our vibration, right? Through our beliefs, through our faith or trust, through our opening to spirit, through our intentions. And so when we know that there is negative influence, we can detach ourselves from that, right? And we can say, “But wait a minute, that's not true.” That's not true.

Because what happens is there's these negative energies and these entities and these beings that are roaming on earth, and their entry point is when you've dropped your faith, your trust of the truth, which is you were created as an intentional being and as a divine express an extension of the Most High, you are one with the source of all things. And when you believe less or of that of yourself, that is an entry point, right? Also our behavior patterns. If there is addiction, it is not your true essence that's addicted. It is a negative influence that is being fed from that addiction. It's the negative one that has the addiction and living off that addiction through you. Does that make sense?

44:25 Ashley James: Yes, absolutely.

44:28 Theresa Vigarino: So some of these are spirits that haven't crossed over. And that's a whole another topic of discussion. I'll have to come back for about this. But I saw it, I learned it. And the thing about Ayahuasca that I want to share with everyone is that while the greatest part of it wasn't getting disease out of my body. The best part of it is the amplification, the expansion of infinite intelligence and knowledge and connection that doesn't leave or just doesn't live in the jungle, it comes with back with you. So that's why so many people repeat going back, they want to go back for deeper knowledge. So there are people that go back once a year, once every two years, you know, you'll hear people that are podcasting about it all the time. Because the knowledge that they gained, the cosmic knowledge that they gained. I actually gained a lot of galactical knowledge and cosmic knowledge and connection to these very, very, very high dimensional beings. The connection to Yeshua, and the angelic realm was so profound. And it's with me now all the time.

45:42 Ashley James: So when you're lying on the mat in between the trips to the bathroom, in the dark hearing the intense noise of the jungle, how do you receive this information? Like you said, you take this information home with you, this connection, this information. How do you receive it? You're lying again, like I want to paint that picture. We're lying on the mat in a thatched hut that's round, pitch dark with the very loud jungle noises. And we're sweating, possibly vomiting, going to the bathroom, but in between that, we're seeing colors, we're receiving information. So how did you receive it? Can you take us back to that, like give us a play by play?

46:30 Theresa Vigarino: Absolutely. So you know typically for most people, it's about 30 minutes to an hour in that they feel the effect of the medicine except for yours truly. I'm like five minutes in and everybody goes, “Oh, there she goes.” But that was you know, the medicine at the time I was probably partaking in too much medicine. Now they give me like a tablespoon. They say, “No, no, no, no. No mas para Teresita.” “No more for Theresa.” I'm like the little baby, you know what I mean, I have no resistance. And for some people, they have to drink two full cups. But it just depends, and I don't know the explanation of that. So what happens is when it goes dark, in other words the lights go out, the shamans have partaken in their medicine. And part of at the beginning of the ceremony, they are coming around with the Mapacho, and they are blessing you with the Mapacho and the space, they are clearing it and clearing it and clearing it and clearing it. So only the divine is there.

All right, because we all bring some negative in there. And they're clearing it out for you constantly. They're saying their prayers, and then when they partake in the medicine, out go the lights. So you're sitting there and that you're just waiting, right and you're feeling the medicine. And at first you're feeling some effects in the stomach or what have you. And you know, I've learned not to fear whatever my body is feeling. And I just go into the medicine is working. The medicine is working. And that becomes my mantra, I'm always in prayer. I'm always talking to Yeshua, I'm always talking to God and the angels. And then the shamans start singing the sacred songs of the medicine called the Icaros. The Icaros and that's when they are in the medicine. And the icaros is what activates the medicine deeper in you and into the dimensions of your energetic body and into the spirit realm. So they are actually able to see what's going on with you through the Icaros. And they'll say, “Concentrado.” Concentrate on the Icaros and you're listening to the song.

Since I've started talking about this, I am getting chills up and down my spine in my body, I don't know if you're feeling this but I am. It is so sacred, the Icaros, and this Ancient Medicine that's been going on, they don't even know when it started or exactly where, but all of the tribes along the Amazon and in South America, and in Central America, literally do the same thing, but they may have a little bit of different tradition with how they serve it or what have you. But they all know about this medicine. And they all sing these songs. And they had no communication with each other. They believe that the divine source of all things taught their ancestors about this medicine, so that you can connect deeper to the spirit realm and into the multiverse, the multi dimensional space where you have infinite knowledge and infinite healing and infinite connection. And so all these tribes they've been doing it forever.

And so, this tribe is called the Shipibo Tribe, and the Shipibo Tribe they have their Shipibo language, and they're singing these songs and it is music that you've never heard before, words you've never heard before. And you stay connected to the shamans through the Icaros. So no matter what your journey is, and I will say sometimes you do see some things that are not necessarily pleasant and beautiful. And you allow it to pass through, a lot of times it's your own fear showing up that has been locked away, locked away, locked away in your subconscious mind and in your energetic body that finds its way out through the medicine and through the Shamanism and through the sacred songs of the Icaros.

The Icaros are blessings and they then, so there's different rounds of it. So when it begins and it builds an intensity, and then after a while there's a turning point. Sometimes though, I've had experiences where it got more profound as the night went on. And you are together in the ceremony room until the shamans close the ceremony and then for some time afterwards, because the medicine is still working and they're still working, but they're not singing the Icaros anymore. And then there's a lightness that takes over a lot of times, and there could be giggling, celebrating and then eventually you make your way with the facilitators back to your cottage.


48:38 Ashley James: What time is it by then?

51:25 Theresa Vigarino: It really just depends on the size of the how many people are in the ceremony, because the last portion of it is the shamans come to your mat individually. And oh my God, that is just the most profound experience that I could even begin to try to explain and especially when you're working with these, the ones that really helped me heal; the mother and the son, and one is on one side and one is on the other. And they're holding your hand and you feel their beauty and their love. And literally the feeling of love, universal love that comes through them for you, that you then have in turn for them and everything on earth and for God is just life changing that you will never forget for the rest of your life.

52:14 Ashley James: So obviously, they don't speak English, or do they speak English?

52:20 Theresa Vigarino: They speak Spanish.

52:21 Ashley James: Is there a translator there ?

52:23 Theresa Vigarino: Yes, the owner is, she's Peruvian, but she's lived the last 28 years or something in Miami. So she speaks English. And also my friend that took us down there, he's fluent in Spanish and English. And so he's an amazing translator. And they also have facilitators that they bring, so there's always someone that's not under the influence of the medicine that's there and they translate, they help you to the bathroom, they give you the sugar water if you need it or whatever you need, they're there for you.

Listen, I have never been taken care of the way that I've been taken care of down there. They are with you on the journey. And they know what you're going through. So they're there for you and you know, they call me Mama Teresita down there as I just have this mother energy right for everybody. And so they love on me and literally when I left there at the end of June, I was in tears because these people, the people that work there that cook your food, that bring you what you need in your room, that help you no matter what, they serve you out of love. And it is one of the most unique experiences I've ever had. And I've traveled the world. And the beauty of these people trying to help you through your healing process is a selflessness that is an extension of love from the universe. And you leave feeling loved.

53:59 Ashley James: That's brilliant. So depending on how large the group is, I'm trying to paint that picture in my mind. When do you get back to your room to actually sleep and do you sleep that night?

54:13 Theresa Vigarino: You know, maybe a little bit, but you're really in the effects of the medicine still. And you may have dreams or more visionary experience or you know, and you're talking to your roomie or whatever, but you do rest. There's a lot of resting that goes on. And what I noticed when you come back from the jungle is the high pace we live here. And the toxic environment that we're in. It is such a profound difference from in the jungle to coming back to the States. So as I recommend everybody get to nature as often as possible because the plants here and the trees here they have a healing vibration to them that we don't have in the concrete jungle. Now you live in nature. So you know, thank God, right. But we do have a lot of stuff that keeps us from deep healing here when you live in a city, like where my husband and I live now. But so it depends, like we had groups of 10 up to 18 and the several times that I've gone there, and we would probably get back to the room at 1:00 am.

55:12 Ashley James: Okay, that's not bad. I was thinking it would be like an all nighter or something.

55:17 Theresa Vigarino: There are some that choose to stay. If you choose to stay or the medicine is still working, these shamans that we work with will not leave you, they will stay with you till the sun comes up. If you want to go back to the bed and they release you to go back to your bed, because I have a funny curvature in my spine, my tailbone sticks out and the mat on the ground is uncomfortable for me after a while. So I like to go back to the bed myself personally. But I have stayed in the Maloca till the sun came up. And then other times I'm like, I want to go back to my bed. It's because more comfortable for me, my body.

But many people stay all night there and go back when the sun comes up. So it just depends. When I was there and it was just the shamans and me, our ceremony would be over at 10, started at 8, over at 10. Other times when there's lots of people because remember, they go around to each person individually that takes longer. And so sometimes the ceremony will be over at 1am. And then you still have a period of where they won't let you leave the Maloca. Where you need to stay there for the effects, because you're still under the medicine. Does that make sense?

56:32 Ashley James: Sure. Sure. So your first time, the first 10 day trip, when you came back to the States, what was your biggest takeaway? What was the biggest healing? Did you notice that your scleroderma was getting better? Like what was the definite “This is what I got from my first trip to the jungle?”

56:52 Theresa Vigarino: Oh my gosh. Well, there was some confusion because I had old, old religious dogmatic interference, that first trip at some points, you know what I mean? Like, Oh, my God. Is this the right thing? I had a lot of…

57:11 Ashley James: Are you letting the devil in?

57:12 Theresa Vigarino: Totally, totally. I had some of that. And that was great that I faced that because oh my God, I saw the face of Jesus so many times, and angels and him showing me things. And later in the other trips that I went. But I came back. So that happened during the experience. But I came back going, this is the most amazing thing I've ever done in my life. And I've done a lot of things. And I told my husband, we're going back and you're coming with me. And I told everybody I knew, you guys got to come, you got to come, you got to come, you got to come. I literally have lost friends over this because there's so much fear in them and they got tired of hearing it. I was so on fire for this because I had this connection to like downloads, constant downloads, because when you get home, that's when the journey really begins.

58:08 Ashley James: Yeah, I bet.

58:09 Theresa Vigarino: So you are like in boot camp while you're there. But when you get home, that's where you are really reconnecting to it, connecting to it, connecting to it. And you do over time, like some of the effects because the medicine stays in you and still works with you, right. So you do and especially once you've been there for as long of a time and had as much medicine, like I've had 27 nights. 27 experiences with Ayahuasca and that's a lot in a year and a half. Wow, I think it was like 15 months, 27 ceremonies, that's a lot. And especially this last time when I went for my 28 day excursion, I had 12 nights of Ayahuasca.

When you're there for a longer period the dose is less, it's more like micro dosing because it's more about the healing effects of the actual medicine. So this last journey that I went on by myself, because I had been one other time with this mother, daughter, son, I mean mother, son, shaman family, she said to me, “You need to come by yourself, and you need to come for at least a month.” And so when this parasitic infection wouldn't go away that I've had for years, I had just didn't have enough medicine. I wasn't there long enough. So I had to go deep. And I had to be there for the month. And I thank God for the parasites. Because it forced me to say to my husband, I gotta go. And he said, “Go.” So when I got back at the end of June, I said to my husband, you're next and arranged his ticket, made the arrangements and one month later, my husband left for the jungle for a month and he got back at the end of August.

59:51 Ashley James: And he went without you.

59:53 Theresa Vigarino: Yes. Solo journey is… You know, I love it that we went with group, that I went by myself with a group and that we went twice together with a group. And then we went on our solo journey. And it's changed him as much as it's changed me. And by changing what I mean is, it's almost like all these layers of falsities of teachings of culture. Things that are programmed, literally peel off of you so that you become this lighter, vibratory being that has connection to the truth and what really matters.

1:00:39 Ashley James: Yeah. So tell me about your physical your physical healing, removing these parasites and everything. Because it sounds like your scleroderma gone? Is it in remission?

1:00:54 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah. So halfway through in June. That's why I went. So each time I went, I had profound experiences, visionary experiences, and you asked me, how is it that you learn? I see things, okay. So I see, I saw things that were yet to come, that came to pass, I saw how things about my children, I was brought to my children in the spirit realm. And there was one visionary experience that was the most beautiful thing because you know, my children went through some trauma in their past in their childhood. And I was dressed as a priestess in this one vision where I was dressing and blessing my daughter and my son, both as a priest and a priestess. And I saw my little doggy and I'd be blessing her, I saw things about my husband and I, I saw things about my relationship with my parents, my siblings, friends, I saw people that I was to let go of, then I saw relationships that I was to heal deeper. I was brought to an understanding of how to heal relationships. And that came to pass.

I saw what to do in my business. I saw how I was to be a hands on healer and that I would pray over people and they would be healed through my connection to the source and through the divine beings, Yeshua, the angels in these other high dimensional beings, that would work through me, I just became a more open vessel as a result of it. And I was to do it. And I said, “Okay, I trust you.” And then simple things like, you know, take up the piano again, that's going to enrich your life, take up the pottery, start sewing again, because I had become so focused on my health, on others, on my husband, on my business, and on everything else, when I had lost taking the time to be the creative person that I always was since I was a little girl. So when I was there in June, and I remember walking around in my bare feet, now I'm in my bare feet in the jungle, you know what I'm saying? I'm not scared. I'm walking around in the jungle in my bare feet. And I was brought back to when I was a really, really small little child at five years old. And I was always the barefoot one in the yard. And I was brought back to that to the joy of being barefoot in the grass.

And I remembered and I reconnected to the inner child so much that I'm playing the piano every day again, I'm doing creative things. And I make a point every day to do something creative for the fun of it. For the joy of it. And as entrepreneurs, and you know, I do six different things. Yoga is a creative outlet for me, I'm business development for my husband, I'm writing a book, I've got this new class I'm launching, I've just started a charity, I've got lots of things that I'm doing, I'm helping with my mom. You know, there's many different projects I have ongoing, but I'm taking time every day, even if it's just 30 minutes, to do the thing just for the sake of creativity, because the Creator is creative. And as an expression of the Creator, when we create, we are accessing that vibration of creation. Which is the step beyond manifestation is creation.

And that is something for us all. And I encourage and challenge everyone, what is the thing that you love that you don't think you have time for because it's not, you know, making you money, or, you know, the bathroom needs to be cleaned, or so and so wants to talk to you on the phone? Or there's a Netflix show. You know, take some time on the daily, even if it's 15 20 minutes, and you're going to find that your vibration is going to lift and your vitality will lift. Your energy will lift. More creative ideas come, and actually you know what comes? Happiness and joy. Because we can get bogged down with oh my gosh, is that marketing working? Oh my gosh, what are the analytics Duffy? Am I right?

1:05:36 Ashley James: We can definitely get bogged down with the day to day and lose that connection.

1:05:42 Theresa Vigarino: And you would think maybe an empty nester, right? And not running the kids here and not running the kids there that I would have had more energy toward that. But what happened was, you know, my husband and I became really focused on business. And that's not my mindset. That was more his mindset. And I absorbed that. And I molded myself to that. And the more I did that, the sicker I got.

1:06:12 Ashley James: Sure.

1:06:14 Theresa Vigarino: And so and it's so funny, because he came home going… And when I came home, and while he was gone, because we traveled and we traveled in July, and then my dog got sick. And I had like three weeks of just caring for my little doggy and bringing her back from the brink. And he was gone during that time, I started playing the piano again. And it was like the message was so clear, creativity is your way, Theresa. So I started painting and I started you know, I'm going to do needlepoint and just little things I can do in the evenings rather than just sitting doing nothing or watching TV or whatever, you know, because my energy is still coming back and I'm still under the influence of a lot of the plant medicine. And I'll go back to that experience of the plant medicine but, and my husband came home saying, “We gotta get you a pottery class and you need to play the piano.” And we started giggling it's like your way, Teresa to health is creativity.

1:07:05 Ashley James: He came from the jungle and that's what he told you?

1:07:08 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah.

1:07:09  Ashley James: And he didn't know that you spent the last month playing the piano and doing all that. So he got the message you got. That's funny.

1:07:16 Theresa Vigarino: Yes.

1:07:18  Ashley James: I love it.

1:07:18 Theresa Vigarino: And totally supportive, not like Theresa where you clean the apartment. You know? No. And it's beautiful. It's beautiful, because he went through the journey himself. And he knows what he needs to do for himself now.

1:07:32 Ashley James: So you receive messages for yourself and your loved ones. And you just get clarity. Do you think it's that we all have the ability to be intuitive and get in touch with it, and that the medicine just pulls the ego aside and pulls all the business aside so that we can actually receive the intuition we always have?

1:07:55 Theresa Vigarino: We are born this way. However, through teachings, culture, wounds, ego, everything that happens it gets clouded. And we run on these programs a lot of times under the radar and you know, a big proponent of changing your belief systems through your neural pathways. But there are some wounds that stay stuck that you don't know that they're there. That you're like, “Oh my gosh, I didn't even know.” And so that's what the medicine brings to light are the things that are so deeply embedded that you're not even aware. There was one night when we were with the group and the shamans were like, “No. Muy poquito, Teresita.” Where I got like a teaspoon and everybody else's… And I'm like, la la la, I'm just having a good time. You know what I mean? And when people started going through their experience, I started worrying about everybody. And the message that I got from that experience was see what happens if we don't kick your butt and make you down the toilet and face down, you won't concentrate on yourself, you are so used to carrying so much more about everybody else. That one of your lessons is, now is the time to care for you.

1:09:16 Ashley James: Very good.

1:09:17 Theresa Vigarino: And that happens to a lot of moms in the world. And a lot of people pleasers in the world. And one of the messages I got while I was in the jungle and my father appeared, not in ceremony. But my father who's… a cross over appeared. There was another guest there and she's a medium and a clairvoyant. And, you know, she said, “Look, I know we just met, we just met like 30 minutes before.” She goes, “Where's your dad?” And I said, “Well, he's crossed over.” And she said, “Well, he's here and he's standing right behind you.” Describe him to a tee. And said to me, “I really want to tell you that your dad is here, and he has messages for you.” And I was like, awesome, what's the saying? And she said, “He wants you to know that he approves. And apparently that was a big deal for you. And that in your life, you've sought approval from others because you wanted his approval. And you didn't feel like you ever got it.” He was a critical man in the human form. And how true words were never spoken over my life and seeking that approval became this people pleasing aspect of my personality. And so when people didn't approve of me, it was a really deep, deep, deep pain. Well, people that I loved and cared about. Okay, and so friends, and when people didn't approve of it, and it's really interesting, when I came back from my Ayahuasca journeys, many people have left me including somebody that was my very best friend for many, many, many years.

1:10:50 Ashley James: Wow.

1:10:52 Theresa Vigarino: And that has been super painful for me to digest. But again, it's like right now I'm on this path. And they're gonna be some people that it's going to be polarizing. And I want to say to the listeners, however, whatever path you decide to take towards your own healing and enlightenment, there are going to be people that are going to not like it. And I saw, I think like Denzel Washington said it or maybe Morgan Freeman or somebody that, you know, it's basically I'm summarizing, I don't remember exactly, but you know, it's the light in me is disturbing the darkness of you. And that's okay. And not to make me better than anybody else. I'm just, you know, a little bit down the pike right? Down the path, because I said yes, and because I surrendered.

And because I said I am here on earth to be all that God created me to be. And so I surrender to that, even if it meant having to move from Lake Tahoe my favorite place on Earth, even if it meant I had to go through the depths of suffering in order to release and be brought to my knees. So I can say in a deeper way, because I've said this prayer my whole life. But this is a newness, and a true, I am nothing without the breath of God inside me. And I learned that deeper than ever, and the rest of these false fears that we have of rejection and abandonment. And what are people going to think of me? And and the old ego wants to come out even with this class that my husband, you know, my husband's in the tech world and deals with professionals at a very high level that run billion dollar companies. And he's now posting about channeled messages from Jesus through my wife. He said to me this week, he's like, “Oh, my gosh, babe, I've really grown.” He's like, and I realized there was still a little piece of me like, “Oh, my God, are people gonna think we're nuts.”

1:12:50 Ashley James: Yeah.

1:12:51 Theresa Vigarino: Listen, what could be better? This is what we're here for. This is what we're all here for. And I I'm so dizzy in the spirit right now. Because, you know, there's going to be a healing vibration to this in this podcast. Even my toe is tingling. Because it's true. And by the way, I learned to Yeshua. It really is. And that's what's going to be explained on this masterclass series for people that were raised in the Christian faith or not, and it's not about how you were raised and it's not about religion. And I saw in the multiverse, I saw in other dimensions and so what happened with the healing in June, so I went back, the minute that I got there, they knew I was coming. Everybody's greeting me, they knew in advance I had a two week notice. Well, no, I think I had, no not two weeks, it was about nine days. And I had been on a four month parasite cleanse and literally the level of parasites that were coming out of me and it wasn't stopping.

Okay, so I couldn't get rid of it on my own and with many, many, many holistic therapies, and drinks, and Western medicine, anti parasitic, it didn't matter what I was taking, it was not getting better, it was only getting worse. And really, the parasites were trying to take me out. And I had a lot to do with that whole dark energy thing. It had a hold on me. And so when I got there, the shaman said you were very close to dying. And so this was an intervention. And I knew it. I told my husband five days before I left, I said I don't, or maybe it was 10 days before I left I don't remember exactly, it might have been right before I said I got to go for the month. I said I don't think I'm going to live past this. And he said go, so we did I called Nancy the owner and I said I gotta go for the month. She goes good. I'm going to then. And let's go. We met in Iquitos, went to her place in the jungle, walked up the stairs together, I video documented my entire experience. There will be a documentary about it coming out soon and I'm writing a book about it ‘Dreaming With The Shaman: The Unlikely Love Affair Between an Amazon and an American Woman.

1:15:06 Ashley James: Oh, beautiful. I love it.

1:15:08 Theresa Vigarino: Because it's the last place I ever wanted to go on earth. And at least I thought now I have this grand love affair with it, I can't wait to go back. And so the minute I stepped foot on the grounds, I knew my healing would happen and I walked up those stairs to the lodge and greeted the people that know me as mama Teresita and started drinking medicine right then. So there's thousands of medicines and when they know what you need, okay, when they assess you, these shamans through ceremony, they will put you through what you're going through, you do this, you know that you have these conversations with Nancy the owner ahead of time, so when you get there, they have medicine waiting for you and how did they get the medicine? They go out in the jungle, they dig up a route they cut down some bark they trim a plant whatever and they come and they make these tinctures or if it's something external, these these sabs or drinks, right and so some are hot, some are room temperature, some are boiled, some are leaves that they grind down in a mortar and pestle and steep it different ways for different medicines. And I was on about seven different medicines during the day. And then I had 12 ceremonies with Ayahuasca which was the most beautiful thing ever. I'm now godmother to the mother shaman there to her granddaughter, and the son sharman to his daughter. And they are my family now. And about halfway through she said the root of your disease is gone.

1:16:49 Ashley James: Did you feel it?

1:16:50 Theresa Vigarino: Yes. Because I wasn't able to eat, I wasn't able to go to the bathroom before I left. I wasn't able to breathe before I left. The minute I was was there I was breathing and I was going to the bathroom. I wasn't able to urinate. My kidneys were that inflamed. And food was hard for me. I was I was down to hardly eating anything. And I was eating massive amounts of food while I was down there, they had a food, specific foods, but I was definitely on the diet that they were giving me specifics and delicious. The food tastes better down there. The soil is so rich in South America. So and she said but the wounds are still there. So this is the most fascinating part. She didn't know what scleroderma was. They don't have anatomy books, and they don't go to medical school. They see your body from an energetic standpoint, okay. And what she said to me was, the wounds are still there. And I said, “Well, what are the wounds look like to you?” And you know, the translation is going and she said, they look like and she said they're from your brain all over your brain to the bottom of your feet. I can testify to the brain because I had had a neurological event after you and I spoke and I was in the ER for that. And I had white matter and some growths in my brain and all of that, that I never really did, you know, go down that path was allopathically for it. And so she said, “They look like scabs that have come off. And there's a scar that's left, big ones.” And it's my whole entire body. And that is exactly what scleroderma does. Its scars.

1:18:32 Ashley James: Yeah.

1:18:35 Theresa Vigarino: And so the healing is taking place, right? And so while she was down in the jungle with Victor, one night, because I was still you know, I wasn't feeling that great about a month ago, still I'm in the healing process, right? So I have to be patient with that. And I have to be very fine tuned to my diet. And what I'm taking in and negative energy and what happens is, you become super open energetically and man oh man, oh, man. Do you become acutely aware of negative energy in your life, through the television, through the computer, through who you talk to, people you're around, what you're eating, what you're drinking, you become aware of energy. So your job and what I realized, is our job is to keep our energy clean. How do you do it? Lots of techniques to clean in your energy, right? There's lots of things; grounding, visuals, meditations, prayers, but I would say right away, what I learned is cleaning your physical body is essential. And it's step one, because that's what they do in Shamanism. The cleaner your body is the less purging that you go through really, because honestly in those 12 ceremonies I purged from the medicine during the day that they were giving me and I purged through so much of that, right? That my ceremonies were easy. Easier than I ever imagined. There were a couple nights that were hard. When the night that I faced this dark entity. Because I said to the shaman when we discovered it, and they told me about it, and we know who it came from. And it was powerful because it came through another shaman. And that's why it's important to know your shamans. And I said tonight's the night. I didn't come here for this when I first came down here. I came here to get healing and I want it gone tonight. And the minute that I said it, I started feeling a choking feeling and pressure on me and I started doing my own prayer work and calling in beings to help me. And that night was a hard night. And after that it got easier. So what other questions do you have? You were asking me what it's like? Like, how do you get the information. So it's visual, sometimes. Sometimes it's feeling. And you'll get the thoughts in your head associated with the feeling. And you won't actually see a picture right in your in your mind's eye. And sometimes it's just this clairsentience and claircognizance where it's a knowingness. And that stays with you after you leave, you will just know things. And you will just go. I just know it and I trust it. So you become more confident in your intuitive abilities.

1:21:24 Ashley James: Very cool. So after the shaman saw that your scleroderma, the root of the scleroderma was gone, what did she say about healing the scar tissue?

1:21:37 Theresa Vigarino: Oh, she said, it's just going to take time, the medicine will keep working. And it's just going to take a few months for the damage to be healed. And you know, watch my diet, go back to some regular foods, because you're without salt, you're without sugar, you're without fats, you're without a lot of things that you need for your body. And so when you're done with the dieta, when you come home, you stay on it for a while, and then you start adding some things back slowly. Because it becomes like a shock to the system and you cannot feel well. And I think that happened to me.

And we know like for some people, you have to stay on the diet more strict for a longer period of time than others. And because I'm so sensitive personally, and I would recommend that people do that when they come back if you're there for a long period of time. And so she just kept saying to me, it's your mind now, relax, rest your mind. Because energetically you know, our mind races around. And you really when you're in the jungle, you become very attuned to that. And so when you unplug, and you don't have this visual stimuli with our screens that we do, and that causes our brains to really speed up its activity, traffic, stress of money, whatever, it speeds up the brain. And so then when you're there, it's like, everything comes to a stop. But you become finally acutely attuned to how rapid your brain is moving and worrying and wanting going down rabbit holes of excuse my language. And what would happen is, I would get a bad headache from it. And she would have to do during the day, she'd have to do these things over my head.

She's like, rest your mind, quit worrying, quit worrying, shut demanding about it, it's pointing that made, stop it. For them, they're in such a peaceful state. See, they don't worry. They're so connected to the present. And you know, as a coach about reducing anxiety and getting over panic, that it comes from the mind, and then it gets triggered in the body. So then we have those physiological responses. And I would say it is the silent chronic disease of America and Western culture.

1:24:09 Ashley James: Absolutely.

1:24:13 Theresa Vigarino: I guarantee nine out of 10 people, even people that are in the business that we're in, still have anxiety at some low level that maybe they're not completely aware of, or that they're picking up from the community around them vibrationally, because when you go down there, and you'll be like, wait a minute, what's that pot and I was like, well, you just shut up, I was so mad at my mind. But it was really the medicine was showing me how overactive it is. And that when I come home, it was going to be essential for me to kick up the yoga to kick up the prayers to kick up the meditations and to catch myself from the old habit of rabbit hole thinking you know, what happens if this, this, this, this, in six months from now and and we're really taught that with this movement of manifesting, which I've taught, right? With self development and personal development and writing your goals down. And I'm going to manifest the hundred thousand dollars a year this year with the online coaching world with that, right?

Now, I'm not saying what are your desires, there's a difference between focusing on what you want to manifest and it occurred to me and my husband from these downloads. I'm like, “Oh my gosh, we got this wrong.” And I'm not saying it's a good step to learn that you're a powerful manifestor, right? But we're manifesting all the time. And when you're putting out the vibration of I want this, my husband and I, we want this ranch, either in Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Nevada, on the Tahoe side, maybe California, I don't know. We want a ranch with a space where we can bring people in for masterminds and retreats. And we want it to be our home and a retreat place and horses and nature and blah, blah, blah.

We were so focused on what we didn't have and working at manifesting that we were putting out unknowingly the vibration, even though we were coming at it from and we had this ranch, well, we know we don't have it really. And we were constantly focused on what we didn't have, that we were still putting out that vibration of what we didn't have, even though we were coming at it from a manifestation standpoint. And so now, and now we realize that with the divine creator, we surrender now, if that isn't the highest will and it's a vision of the highest will for our life, as we're becoming all that we were created to be as a divine unique expression of God, then yes, but we're going to be okay, if it's something else too.

1:27:03 Ashley James: Yeah.

1:27:03 Theresa Vigarino: We're going to, we're going to be like the wind. So we've released our attachment. And that moves us into a state of trust. And that we're going to know, because we're going to be divinely guided. And so when that becomes your focus, when you focus on the big desire, which is to be all that we were created to be through this unconditional love and guidance, and through the help of helpers like Yeshua, like the angels, like other dimensional beings, Therapists Bay that works with me, which is the divine architect that takes things from an energetic standpoint and helps you manifest it into physical matter here on Earth. I discovered him this last time in June that he was working through me or for me, and because of me, and how great is that? And I'm humbled by it.

And those many others, and Yogananda as well I didn't realized he was one of my guides and no wonder I'm doing yoga again, you know, and oh my gosh, it was just so beautiful. And connecting with these energies of these beings, these Christ Consciousness beings. And knowing that all is okay, just like it is right now. And that is the key to letting go of the anxiety, the monkey brain, the worry, the stress is really becoming focused right now in your senses and knowing that that truth of who you are will emerge and is emerging, that you were coming here to be all that you were created to be and that as a divine unique expression of the Most High God I say God, people can say whatever they want; source, energy, vibration, creator, just a word, right, for the meaning of a being, of a truth, of an energetic reality.

1:28:52 Ashley James: I love it.

1:28:53 Theresa Vigarino: I love that gets wrapped with that one.

1:28:55 Ashley James: Yeah, I love that you have…

1:28:58 Theresa Vigarino: Theresa the preacher.

1:29:01 Ashley James: But I love that you have had tremendous physical healing along with energetic, spiritual, mental, emotional, with this herbal medicine journey, but that you put your spiritual healing at the forefront. And your physical healing came along with it that it was a package deal. I love that you shared that.

And you've got quite the mission that you're working on. So you've got two things right now that you've launched. One, is a charity, I want to hear about that. And another is a mastermind that's coming up. So let's talk about your charity, it does come from one of your journeys to the jungle through Ayahuasca, did you have a vision to do this charity?


1:29:30 Theresa Vigarino: It is. It really is. And you know, but like I said, in order to really cleanse yourself so that you can energetically vibrate with this resonance, you have to clean the body too. Because we're in the body right now. We're not of the body, but we're in the body, right? We're more than that. We're spirit living in a human physical reality at the moment. But the true reality is, is that we're always connected to that energetic place. We have to clean the body too, it is a package deal. It's hard to do good work from a sick bed. And let me tell you, it's hard when you can't move, and you don't have the energy to get out of bed to be able to complete the mission.

The vision was put on my heart since I was a little girl. So this is about 45 years in the making. Honestly, this is a soul yearning and calling that I came here to do. This is the deepest part of my calling, I believe, because it's been with me my whole life. When I was little, and I share this when I was five years old. And out in the yard in my bare feet by myself, I had  this beautiful experience of being a mother to millions of children. And so my poor parents, you know, hearing things in the attic, and people around us and how many people are replaying with Theresa and I'd say millions, they're like, what the heck, most kids have one imaginary friend. Theresa's got millions of them. God only knows what they were thinking. But I would go out to this special place in the yard and I had dug this hole by the tree. It's beautiful maple tree and I would throw in acorns and blades of grass and leaves. I had a stick and I would stir it up and I was making stew which is so like me, right? It's so like me in the kitchen. And I was feeding everybody. And they would say, “Who are you feeding?” I would say, “Well, my children.” And they would say, “How many children do you have?” And I would say millions. And with an underbite and a list.

And fast forward when I was over enough to really care about watching TV, because I wasn't at the time I was really little. And I remember seeing maybe 10 years old, eight years old something, a news clips of the famine in Ethiopia and other places in Africa. And I remember crying. And I remember asking my mom why was this happening? And seeing starving children and it just left a mark and, and my mother remembers me saying and she told me this last year that I was maybe 10 or 11. And there was more famine and more shows. And I remember, she remembers me saying to her, I'm gonna do something about this. We have to do something, I would say. And so then I remember the one picture that we all have seen that was on the cover of Time Magazine or Life or something with a little boy that was crouched over, a starving African beautiful little boy and a vulture standing behind him. And I never forgot that picture.

I remember crying and I cried a lot over the plight of these starving children. So this was a work in progress. And then in 2004, when I traveled to South Africa, and I was in the bush and some of these places where it wasn't so much of that starvation, although they were hungry children. And I was there, I was there on a business trip with my ex husband. And I took my children and my ex mother-in law, beautiful woman that she is that I adore and another child that was with us. And we went out on this excursion to be able to visit these villages where they have very little resources and HIV has wiped out a generation of people, okay. And so these children are living with children or you know, they're completely orphaned. And so there's the elderly and children, and not a lot in between. And it's so rampant. It's the worst HIV population in the continent of Africa as in South Africa.

And I made a vow. And I said, I'm going to come back and I'm going to help. And I'm going to build orphanages for these children, so they're not sleeping outside. And 15 years later, I'm making good on that promise. And we already have the village, it's the villages I went to, I've reconnected to the man that drove me that day, who was working for a conservation group that was no longer in existence. And last year after a trip to the jungle, this is how this works. I went to bed one night and the image in the end, the voice said to me, the spirit said to me, “Find him.” The one that drove me around. I was like what? Well, I seen him that one day, but I fell in love with his soul. And he said find this man and he's going to be your boots on the ground, so to speak, for lack of a better term, you need someone that's a local that knows how to get this done. You need to find him. I knew his name was Lotus. I knew where he worked in 2004. He was a representative of this conservation group. Well, that group was no longer in existence. He didn't work at the one lodge I knew, and I went on a hunt.

And about a month of emailing and making phone calls. Ashley, I get an email from Lotus, beautiful name for a man huh, Lotus. And he told me where he was working with, organization called the Africa Foundation. And we connected and we are partnering with this well established, they know how to get the job done, they know how to get employee salaries, they know how to get counselors in, they know how to get medical care in. And we are about to break ground this year. Our fundraising is beginning. We're becoming legalized. In the meantime, we are partnered with AfricaFoundation.org. And they are going to help us build our first facility in the bush outside of Kruger National Park in South Africa. And so it's coming to pass and the name of our group is MomsHouseForChildren.org.

1:36:07 Ashley James: Beautiful and so is it Mom's House is the charity?

1:36:11 Theresa Vigarino: Yes. Yes. Mom's House For Children is the charity.

1:36:14 Ashley James: Mom's House For Children. Love it.

1:36:17 Theresa Vigarino: And we have a website up. We're a work in progress. We're grassroots. It's a family deal. My husband and children are involved. And we're building our team, many of them are people I've sat in the jungle with and we've held each other's hands through some of our most intense moments in life and have emerged fearless, the greatest gift of the jungle. And we're ready to eradicate homelessness in the most vulnerable locations because there are 200 million homeless children where there are no resources, where there are no resources. And if we want to change this world, what do we do? We love the children, reunite the world. And that is our mission statement.

1:37:09 Ashley James: I can't even fathom 200 million children homeless.

1:37:15 Theresa Vigarino: Yes. And in vulnerable locations, where criminal behavior happens, right? Because they need to feed them. So you know, starvation leads to many things, doing things these children would never do otherwise, or getting caught up with criminalization, or they're they're just doing whatever they can. Many 12 year olds are raising six siblings. So they're not going to school, none of the kids are really able to go to school or not a lot of them. They're having to find work. So it's really, really severe plight and that isn't even talking about, you know, other locales in the world where more sex trafficking and human trafficking takes place. So we solve a lot of problems by eradicating homelessness for the vulnerable children of the world.

1:38:12 Ashley James: Yeah, because then they don't get into the drug trade and the sex trade and so they become child soldiers and all guerrilla warfare. And yeah, that makes sense. Get it at its root. Well, I love it. Congratulation.

1:38:30 Theresa Vigarino: Thank you so much. So it's been, it's been one of my lifelong dreams, and now is the time because they're waiting. So I welcome all helpers of all varieties, into our movement of let's put the children first. And what's amazing is, is that it takes very little US dollars to create great change in these places. And, by the way, I'm a supporter of UNICEF, I'm a supporter of local charities for the homeless, the Homeless Coalition, No Kid Hungry program, we just signed up for them, Feeding America. So you know, also involved in Rotary and I do a lot of charity work, I feed the homeless over holiday seasons, my husband and I do just personally, we give, give, give, give, give all the time. So we do care about America. We care about Silicon Valley which has a great homeless population. We're very involved in all of those things. I personally have a calling on me for Africa and some of these other world locations where the largest number of,vulnerable children live with with extremely little resources, including drinking water.

1:40:02 Ashley James: Yeah.

1:40:04 Theresa Vigarino: So that's where my heart's going. Yeah. That's where God's leading me to go.

1:40:08 Ashley James: MomsHouseForChildren.org?

1:40:11 Theresa Vigarino: Yes.

1:40:12 Ashley James: So M-O-M-S, MomsHouseForChildren.org.

1:40:16 Theresa Vigarino: Yeah, I'll send you the link.

1:40:18 Ashley James: The link to that will be in the show notes of today's podcast at LearnTrueHealth.com as well as everything that Theresa does. Now, you are launching a new mentorship program, mastermind program and it is divinely inspired. I know you are so excited about it. Can you tell us more about this program? And what we'll learn from it?

1:40:43 Theresa Vigarino: Yes, absolutely. So this came to me about a week and a half ago. And I said, yes, it's one of those things, you know, like, two days before I go on to the Amazon, I said, Yes. So when the spirit moves you, I surrender. And I said, I said yes to this because I didn't really plan on doing this right now. Because I know the time the energy and the effort that it takes to put together something like this. But yet, when you're really operating from that soul driven place, and the spirits working through you, it becomes less effort, you know, and it becomes easier for us. And there's a lot more grace, and I'm not worried about it.

So it's only for 20. It's 20 other souls that want to go on this journey with me through the rest of the year. So that 2020 because we know with creation, with manifestation, we have to clear up the vibration. And we have to do things to set in motion what we desire to experience. And so that's when it came to me, it's like now's the time, we're not just ending a year, we're ending a decade. And 2020, I believe is going to be a year of great expansion for many of us, and a great transformation. And so helping others through the spirit working through me will guide you through teach people how to cleanse their vibration, how to reconnect to your deepest part of your own spiritual gifts, to amplify your own gifts, how to become the healer of your own life, all of these things, including your money story, your relationship story, all of that. How to really align into that place of surrender, so that the spirit can work more profoundly in your life, right and bring you…

The thing about South Africa, it blows me away, there's not a day that doesn't go by that I don't have a new connection, or I read something or like, I'm not even thinking about it. Now, somebody will invite me to a party, and there's a bunch of South Africans there. I mean, it happens all the time. And we just smile, and I say thank you. And that's the kind of level of creation I would like for the students to have in their own life. Now, this is not for beginners, person on this spiritual opening process, these are going to be more advanced teaching. So what happens is, you click on the link, and it'll take you to a very short application process of about six questions, and it's yes or no. And then you and I spend 20 minutes on the phone. So this is going to happen over the course of the next 13 days or something. And then we decide if now's the right time for you, and the spirit is going to guide me into it being yes or no.

So I believe that most people that are going to go through this process, it is yes, because I believe that we are magnets to our experience, right. And I've already prayed for those 20 that would come and it would be the right time. But it's just good to feel each other out. And then we get you set up to start on the 24th of September. Now, these are going to be Zoom calls. And there are a ton of bonuses, which we lay out that so it's going to be so much offering here, I am just really honored to be in a position to be able to bring in other experts, and also offer some of the other healing things that I've been taught to do over the last three years. And all of that is going to be between the 24th and the end of December so that we all emerge 2020 a better, more awakened version of ourselves.

1:44:19 Ashley James: Beautiful, I'm very excited for you and for your students. I love it. You were telling me a bit about one of the lessons in it is going to be about acknowledging the ego and and helping it have more of you know, having healthy boundaries through ego I guess is the best way to do it. Because when we let our ego kind of run our life, it's like I don't know, for those who have had a toddler, they have no boundaries, and they will not respect yours. Right? And if you don't know how to enforce them, they won't respect any boundaries. So, we ere at my father in law's 78th birthday dinner last night at a nice restaurant, and my son decides that he's going to wash his hands in his glass of water.

You know. So no, there's no boundaries. But your ego is much like your toddler, your inner toddler, and that it will cross over and take over everything if we don't kind of enforce our own boundaries with our ego, right? So you're talking a bit about that with me and how one of the things that people are going to learn with you in this mastermind is how to do that. And then another thing you told me about is that when you were on your Ayahuasca journey, you saw energy, you had an experience where you saw the vibration of the jungle and the vibration, you got to see energy and feel it, you had that experience of not only feeling energy, but seeing it and experiencing a whole new level. And so you took lessons away from the jungle, and you're incorporating that into your mastermind. Is there anything that you'd like to teach today to the listeners that you're going to be including in your mastermind, anything, any kind of lessons that you'd like to… homework or lessons or teachings that you'd like to give to listeners? So they can maybe walk away with something to work on today?


1:46:35 Theresa Vigarino: Sure, first I'll address the ego questions. So you know, the ego is here for a reason. And we actually created it as a human collective long time ago. So it's here, and it's here to stay because we're in the physical body. There are a lot of good things that the ego does for us, like trigger fear whenever we're in a dark alley, and there's an element there that we don't want to interact with, right? So there are some components that we absolutely utilize this for our benefit of the ego. Having a sense of pride in your being, that is an ego driven thing to a certain degree, right? When you couple that with being all that you can be that God created you to be, they have those kinds of things work hand in hand.

Now where the ego drops our vibration is through judgment, it is through fear of judgment, fear of lack, fear of not being good enough, worry, old limiting beliefs about who you really are, judgment on other people's behaviors, all of that, that is where from a spiritual component, it drops you down. Okay, so learning the voice of the ego, and why don't we just curtail this into the homework or the assignment or, you know, an intention for the listeners, which is to learn to be the observer of when your ego is triggered based upon fear and judgment, because fear and judgment are what keep us from that soul alignment. They keep us out of compassion, they keep us out of forgiveness, which keeps us out of that unconditional love, that we are to be and as an expression of. And so when we're judging, even when it seems like it's something so terrible, you know, and we want to judge that person, “Oh they are just rotten to the core.” Or whatever. We are projecting that judgment. And in that moment that we judge another, that means that we judge ourselves, number one, so we automatically have, we know that we have shame, guilt, all of that still stuck in our vibration, right? It also removes you, you also step out of that soul alignment of the vibration of love that God is. And that really we're an extension of, and so ever so briefly, we're away from that.

And we actually can feel the effects of that, you will feel, maybe you were happy before that. Maybe you felt expansive before that, maybe you were in joy, and you were in the moment, and you felt at peace. And then the minute judgment came in, even for yourself, oh my gosh, I shouldn't be doing this, I should be doing that. And even if it looks that it might be more productive, but you're judging yourself, and I don't mean like for the better. Like, let's say you're doing something creative, and you're playing or whatever, right. And there's this voice that's like, you better not be enjoying that, you better go work on your finances. So, or, you know, you're trying to pray and meditate, and you get the thing, oh, change the laundry over. When you work from home, those are easy distractions. So it's subtle, it's subtle, sometimes sometimes they're big, but oftentimes, they're subtle.

And by being the observer of the difference between when you're operating from the mind of God and when you're operating from the ego mind, and the difference between them. Which is not an easy thing to do, because the ego will try to confuse that. But just if you take a global perspective, as you know, we're both on NLP people, right? That global perspective, you will be able to decipher when you're operating from the ego and when you're operating from all that is, and the truth of who you are. You know, when you want to pick up the phone and make an important phone call, like I'm going to be doing here soon for somebody to be on my board of directors. And there's a part of me that, or sending out emails for some big donations. And there's part of me that's like, “Yeah, but our 501 C3  is pending. It's not done yet.” And I have all these reasons. Well, what is that? That's not the truth. The truth is that all things are possible. The truth is I'm an extension of divine love and unconditional love. And so I'm going into it feeling like oh, my little organization or me or whatever is not good enough. Yeah.

1:51:18 Ashley James: Who am I to do this? I'm just this little, tiny person, who am I to be big and brilliant and bold?

Theresa Vigarino  1:51:25: Yes. Yes. And I'm faced with it all the time. And like I told you early on about my husband, who's dealing with all of these very high level tech people in the world, right? And he's putting on there about my masterclass series, which is going to have a lot of all focus on energy and spirit. And he's ready to emerge that for himself, too. So we all come to a place where it's like, “Oh, really?” Yeah. And the quiet confines of your own mind and in your own little comfort zone in your cocoon of safety. You're saying, “Yeah, I'm going to do this. And I'm going to do that. And I'm going to put it out there because the spirit is moving through me.” Oh, yeah, let's do it. The spirit is saying do it, then. Now's the time. What you waiting for? Nothing to fear. And so when those resistance is happen, then oftentimes, it is the ego going, “Oh, yeah. But what if you're going to lose more friends?” “What if it's going to flop?” What if, this was a big one for me. “What if you're going to get sick during that commitment?”

1:52:40 Ashley James: Yeah.

1:52:43 Theresa Vigarino: You know, what if you're not spending enough time on making more money, right? But the big one more for me was, you know, what if, what if people aren't going to like you as much? What if they're going to laugh at you? That was a big one that I used to get. And still a little bit you know, what if someone so laughs about ? What if you're made fun of? Right? So I think we've all been made fun of when we were little, and I was made fun of a lot. I was a real heavy kid. And you know, that's an old thing, right? So the ego goes what if they're going to make fun of you. I was the girl that never got picked for the kickball team or anything athletic because I was the chunky monkey. And, you know, I ended up being the most outstanding female athlete one year later in the school. Take that kickball captain leaders, no, no I'm just kidding.

It's kind of funny now when I look back on it, but you know, and that is a muscle that I can access too by the way. Hey, wait a minute, people laughed at me before. That wasn't the truth of who I was, who I am. And really, we know now from a higher perspective when people are laughing at somebody else, when people are making fun of you or people leave you because of something that your soul is driving you to do and aching and longing for and that is where your personal fulfillment is. The rest of it doesn't even matter. And again, the light in you upsetting the non light we can say around you is a good thing.

1:54:27 Ashley James: Sometimes we create those situations to test our resolve. In the Tarot, it's the archetype the devil, the devil card is the archetype. It's not the actual devil from Christianity. It's an archetype of us testing our own resolve. And so, someone says, I don't know, I'm going to quit smoking cigarettes and five minutes later, as you know, someone walks by and lights a cigarette in front of us. You know, it's testing our resolve, or, you know, if you said I'm going to go do this charity, and then that little voice goes, that gives you a million reasons and excuses not to, and sometimes it looks like, sometimes people go well, how can it be me testing my resolve when it's external things like someone saying or laughing at me, right? It's external. But it's how we react to it. You might have someone laugh at you every day. And you never even noticed, never noticed, your brain just deleted, generalize, said it doesn't matter. It's information that doesn't, it doesn't even matter. But the one day you go to do something new, it's this little part in ourselves that wants to test our resolve. And so then the brain because the brain generalizes so much information. And the reticular activating system of the brain goes all right now you're looking for people laughing at you.

1:56:01 Theresa Vigarino: Absolutely.

1:56:06 Ashley James: So, we test our resolve, when we go to push outside of our boundaries and it's uncomfortable, right, but so we got to take on like if we're deciding to like for a friend of mine, who's a listener, she has taken on the diet, the whole food plant based, no salt, sugar oil diet to heal her body in hurt because it's the most restorative diet for her heart health, the cardiologist, Dr. Esselstyn I've had on the show, he's in his 80s, and he's still an active cardiologist at the Cleveland Clinic and he heals, like four blockages in the heart with this diet alone, like unbelievable results.

1:56:49 Theresa Vigarino: I absolutely believe in it.

1:56:51 Ashley James: Yeah. And so she started the diet. And now it's every naysayers come up to to challenge her, you know, her parents, her husband, friends, coworkers, everyone is kind of like coming out of the woodwork to test her resolve.

1:57:10 Theresa Vigarino: Yes.

1:57:11 Ashley James: And we and it's how we perceive that conflict, will we give up and give in and kind of settled back down into status quo, or will be rise above it? And so I feel that sometimes that that challenge that we face, where we are seeing either external or internal, it's our own little voice, like the ego saying, but this and but this, what about this? And if it's external people, like you're losing friends over it, whatever, whether it's internal or external, when there's a push to that it would be more comfortable to go back to status quo, it actually wouldn't, because living a status quo is living in purgatory, we're not evolving as a person. And so when we go, “Bring it on, bring it on world, bring it on.” You want to bring on conflict, okay. Bring on my parents challenging my diet, and my kids and my husband. Bring it on, because I am sticking to my guns, this is how I'm going to heal my body. And there's no external or internal conflict that's going to make me go back to status quo, because I'm going to go over this mountain. And help propel us further because the testing of our resolve actually makes us stronger in our resolve. So it's that we have to have that 30,000 foot view, where we get that the things that we think are bogging us down are actually helping launch us forward.

1:58:47 Theresa Vigarino: It's really changing that perspective, isn't it? It is really about perspective. And I love what you said about that. I'm going to employ that more in my life. So thank you, Ashley. I love that viewpoint because it is the truth.

1:59:03 Ashley James: Right, I do this course as you know, where I teach people how to eliminate anxiety and part of the course is I teach them to get excited when anxiety comes up. Because they've spent years being afraid of it. And when anxiety comes up, it starts in the mind. But then ends up physically in the body when we're physically feeling symptoms. Our hands are shaking. When we were dizzy, we're about to pass out, we feel like yeah, die, you know, the body is perceiving a threat and we're having a huge adrenaline response. So, cortisol is going through the roof. And the body is really having a physical reaction. So they're afraid of it.

So the second we start to feel anxiety, they then have a huge fear response, because they're afraid they're going to go into that. So then they're resisting it. And as you know, everything we resist then we're not able to… Yeah it gets stronger. We're not out to actually face it and rise above it. And so I teach in my course to get really excited once they've learned the tools because I have the few tools I teach them that immediately eliminate anxiety in the moment, it takes about 30 seconds, and it completely shuts off anxiety. So once they learn the tool, then every time anxiety comes up in their life, instead of getting fearful because of all the past triggers, and worried that their body is going to go through a panic attack, they get excited, because it's like, “Oh, awesome. It's another opportunity for me to practice this technique.” And every time we practice it, it goes deeper into neurology, it rewires the brain even better.

And so if we could get excited about when conflict comes up in our life especially conflict that is testing our resolve, if we could get excited, like, “Oh, awesome. Another friend is challenging me on my belief system. This is great.” Or another friend or a person is challenging my new health goals or my diet or whatever, or whatever we've decided, right? Whenever an external or internal, if there's like, you know, the ego saying, what about this? Or you're not good enough? How could you do that? Whatever, we get excited, instead of frustrated, we get excited, because anytime we're being challenged internally or externally to test our resolve, it when we stick to our resolve, it will make it stronger, and it'll help us to propel us forward. So that's that was my little…

2:01:43 Theresa Vigarino: And then there's a tipping point, right? Where that doesn't show up in your reality.

2:01:46 Ashley James: Right. Exactly. It's at the beginning. It's right out beginning. The testing of the resolve happens at the beginning. And then you enforce your boundaries enough with yourself and with others and eventually everyone gets it, your brain gets it. Everyone, your in it gets it. You know, now, like I've been gluten free for eight, nine years now, there's no one that's going to talk me out of it, and I don't care. You can roll your eyes all you want when we're at a restaurant together, you know, whoever I'm with, right? And it's like, I'm not going to waver. But when I first started being gluten free, it's like, oh, you know, oh, I don't want to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Well, not me. But other people. Other people go through that when they go gluten free. And so I'm not.

2:02:35 Theresa Vigarino: Or vegan, You go to your friends house and not eat their BBQ and just eat the salad. Trust me, I've been through that, too.

2:02:42 Ashley James: Well, my husband and I are plant based now. And so, but I'm not going to apologize for who I am. I'm almost 40 By the way, and I really had an epiphany that I am not going to apologize for who I am.

2:02:58 Theresa Vigarino: Good for you. I am what I am.  That's what I always say, right? Like it or not, I am what I am. And when people don't like it, it's okay. It's their choice, right? But that doesn't have to affect us. And what we know is what's in our best and highest good.

2:03:13 Ashley James: We gotta stick to it. And it's lonely. Yeah, it will be lonely. When we make a new commitment. It is lonely, because sometimes we don't have that support. Sometimes even internally, we don't have the support.

2:03:26 Theresa Vigarino: Oh my gosh, absolutely.

2:03:28 Ashley James: We gotta stick to it. And the more we stick to it, the stronger it becomes. And then we get to propel ourselves forward. So I love that you have an awesome journey the last two years and  you're taking everything that you've learned, and that you're incorporating. And now you've been a coach for years. You told me I talked the other day, you said you know something to the effect of you don't identify as a coach anymore, you're a healer. You really get that you're a healer, but that you've been a coach for many years, and that you help people, for many years you've helped people, coach them to get to that place in their life that they want to be.

2:04:08 Theresa Vigarino: Yes, absolutely. And it really did come with the jungle experience that I really am more of a conduit and why I am a conduit, and it's the messages come through. And the spirit comes through and the healing comes through. And so I had to really differentiate, because as I kept calling myself coach, I wasn't really accessing what I'm here for, actually. And it was a stepping stone and I loved coaching. And it was really wonderful. It's just different now and it's coming more from this, it comes through me, not from me, if that makes sense.

And so I've just surrendered to it. And the more of the surrendering process, which we will talk a lot about during this masterclass series, the more we're in the vibration of surrender, the more powerful the healing comes through, the messages come through, your life unfolds, like the South Africa thing, you know what I mean? Like, everywhere I go, I thought I mean, it's just unbelievable. My husband, we just look at each other, and just this amazement about how much South Africa is in our reality. And so when we are in that place of surrender, and we trust, we move into a state of trust through that surrender, then we are able to really let go and quiet that ego and live more in the realm of faith, that all things are well, that everything is working for your good. And you can rest in that and you actually quiet the mind down, the parasympathetic nervous system quiets down, and you have that state of peace. Even just for a little bit until you got to go through the process again, until it becomes your natural way of being. And then you'll get triggered. And we're always, because of free will. And we're not robots, we always have that choice to make.

And I, of course I'm a believer in prayer and intention, and meditation, and we incorporate that in our daily lives to help us stay in that vibration. And there's lots of other things that will go through in the masterclass series for there to be visceral techniques, right? Visceral techniques, and then you know, I will, of course, be doing a lot of work ahead of time before each class. And that's why it's going to be small, because every person along with the class gets what's called the soul alchemy deep healing session with me, which is a transformational, it takes about three days. And that in and of itself is like $1,000 normally, and that is a bonus. And that has been transformational for a lot of people. And it's a shocker balancing a crystalline body upgrade. It's all very etheric and energetic healing that takes place in the other realm that you will feel the effects of instantly. It's amazing what happens after those and, you know, I'm going to do that for you, Ashley.

2:07:10 Ashley James: Oh, I'd love that. I'm all about it.

2:07:16 Theresa Vigarino: Yes, I know you are, I know you are. And, I just thank you so much for having me on, so that I can share this experience and encourage others that maybe have a chronic illness that, you know, my husband really has had a panic disorder. I don't know if I shared that with you. Ashley, we didn't realize that that's what it was until the jungle, and he would be great for you to talk to about this anxiety, and what he learned, you know, and it was a download that he learned from the family and maybe even genetic and the reason why he went for the month and what he learned as a result of it, and how to be that energy. Yeah, so I'll connect the two of you. But in the meantime, you know, I just want everyone to know that you're doing better than you think you are. And that you are a unique and divine personal on purpose, being of light that is here to express the divine through your life.

2:08:19 Ashley James: Beautiful, thank you so much.

2:08:21 Theresa Vigarino: End of Story.

2:08:23 Ashley James: For now. To be continued.

2:08:27 Theresa Vigarino: Thank you so much. I just love you. I love what you're doing, your podcast is amazing. You're an awesome interviewer and I love that you're helping people through what they're going through. And anxiety, like I said, it's a big deal here in America. And, you know, kudos to you, Ashley for being a voice.

2:08:44 Ashley James: Awesome. And likewise, thank you so much, Theresa Vigarino for coming on the show. And all the way back from Episode 88. Coming back to give us the updates in the download. I love it. Listeners can go to TheresaVigarino.com, of course the links and everything Theresa does is going to be the show notes of today's podcast at LearnTrueHealth.com. Theresa, it's been such a pleasure. We'll have to keep having you back on every two years.

2:09:11 Theresa Vigarino: That sounds amazing. We'll see what's next. Right?

2:09:14 Ashley James: Awesome. Thank you so much.

2:09:17 Theresa Vigarino: You're welcome.


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Ashley James

Health Coach, Podcast Creator, Homeschooling Mom, Passionate About God & Healing

Ashley James is a Holistic Health Coach, Podcaster, Rapid Anxiety Cessation Expert, and avid Whole Food Plant-Based Home Chef. Since 2005 Ashley has worked with clients to transform their lives as a Master Practitioner and Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming.

Her health struggles led her to study under the world’s top holistic doctors, where she reversed her type 2 diabetes, PCOS, infertility, chronic infections, and debilitating adrenal fatigue.

In 2016, Ashley launched her podcast Learn True Health with Ashley James to spread the TRUTH about health and healing. You no longer need to suffer; your body CAN and WILL heal itself when we give it what it needs and stop what is harming it!

The Learn True Health Podcast has been celebrated as one of the top holistic health shows today because of Ashley’s passion for extracting the right information from leading experts and doctors of holistic health and Naturopathic medicine


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