16: Life Skills: Bearing Pain Skillfully

Life Skills

Patti Davis is back on the show to discuss life skills that can be learned from seeing a licensed mental health counselor.  She uses adventure therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, dialectical family systems, Gestalt and play therapy with people of all ages to help them overcome issues such as grief, low self-esteem, stress, anxiety, depression and more. Patti is an expert in emotional health and the mind-body connection.

In Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) Patti is able to help her clients learn valuable life skills like learning how to ask for what you want, mindfulness and bearing pain skillfully. Mindfulness, in particular, is a valuable life skill because it helps us focus in the moment on the task at hand.

Anxiety comes from living in the future and depression comes from living in the past, Patti shares. Mindfulness helps us living in the present moment, thus avoiding those negative emotions.

Overall Patti has observed that the life skills her clients learn have led to them thriving emotionally, mentally and physically.  Patti believes that everyone can benefit from having a good counselor on their side. You can use counseling to learn and implement new life skills, become better professionally, improve relationships, communication and have a neutral, unbiased, sounding board for when you need someone to objectively listen to your problems.

Here’s What You’ll Discover:

•    How to learn how to bear pain skillfully
•    You don’t need to be “sick” to see a therapist. You can go to a counselor for life skills and preventive emotional health care.
•    How to pick a counselor.
•    Why Gold Standard Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) is the best counseling for those seeking optimal health.
•    How to eliminate anxiety and depression.

Health AH-HA Moment:

Watch your language. Come from “I”. Instead of “She did this to me” or “You made me feel…” Say “I felt upset when you…”

Instead of “but” say “and”. But means you negate one thought for the other.  And means you can be both things. “A parent can be gentle and firm.”

Your Challenge:

Every morning and night think of 10 things for which you are grateful. You cannot be stuck in negative emotions when you are in gratitude.


Wise-Minded Parenting by Kristen A Russell & Laura S Kastner Ph.D.
When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chodron

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Patti Davis listed on Psychology Today